Coach: Ask your student to read out-loud the below title and the text in the two boxes. Then ask them to comment on how often they actually think one way versus the other way.
So, what’s all this got to do with controlling your feelings?
If you see your feelings as unwelcome or unruly aspects of your physical existence that need to manipulated by various physical means of control, then the discipline of controlling your feelings will result in the loss of true freedom and the peace that comes from accepting the blessings of knowing God more intimately.
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On the other hand, if you see your feelings as a natural response of the soul flowing from a deep intimacy with Jesus, and that they are independent of physical circumstances, then you will be focused on sharing Jesus’ feelings with Him (in this life).
(1 Peter 4:12-13)Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. (ESV)
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An opportunity for spiritual training:
As you seek emotional control in your life, you will see it as either a result of your achievement, or you will see it as something that is amply provided to you by Jesus and is experienced through a growing intimacy with God.
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First, do not “buy” the narrative that emotions are evil and deceive you. Emotions are a critical and natural part of your soul. It is neither honest nor healthy to attempt to ignore or suppress them. The issue is not whether or not you have feelings. The challenge is for you to recognize the proper source for your emotions.
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Coach: Have your student read the text on the left out-loud. Ask them if they agree or disagree with what it says. Then discuss the questions and Bible verses below with your student.
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For discussion with your coach:
- What effect would it have on your emotions if you viewed your trials the way Jesus viewed His trials—as merciful and gracious provisions from His Father? (Psalm 119:75-79)I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me..
Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.
Let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight.
Let the insolent be put to shame, because they have wronged me with falsehood; as for me, I will meditate on your precepts.
Let those who fear you turn to me, that they may know your testimonies. (ESV) - Second, pay attention to what influences how you feel. Are the actions of others impacting how you feel? If so, are you oriented by your Fallen nature to view these actions as “bad” because they result in “bad” things? Instead of being focused on the outcomes of these bad events, would it be better to focus on the opportunity for greater intimacy with Jesus? (1 Peter 4:12-13)Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. (ESV)
- Here is a Thought for You to Discuss with Your Coach: Trusting your emotions to your circumstances will eventually lead to stress and burnout. Trusting your emotions to your relationship with Jesus, even in the midst of difficult times, is where the abundant and virtuous life is provided.
